CenyuM CimpOL

1- Seorang guru menerima sepucuk surat dari
emak salah seorang muridnya.

"Kepada Cikgu yang budiman.... mohon
jasa baik cikgu agar anak saya Rusli di
beri pelepasan dari membuat kerja
sekolahnya... Kerja sekolah yang dimaksudkan
ialah yang cikgu berikan semalam
menyuruh anak saya mengira dengan
tepat.. masa
yang diperlukan oleh seseorang untuk
berjalan kaki mengelilingi Stadium Utama
sebanyak lima puluh pusingan...


Ini telah mengakibatkan ayahnya tidak
dapat bekerja hari ini kerana ayahnyalah
yang telah melakukan semuanya itu
sehingga berada dalam keadaan koma hari
ini.."

Belas kasihan daripada cikgu amat saya
hargai..



2- BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you
give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are
the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the
happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like
this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world
for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

3- SHARON : Have you ever had a hot
passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to
take the cigarette out of his mouth.

4- MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and
exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.


5- WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes
in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It
goes in both ears and comes
out of the mouth.

6- MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says
I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're
pretty ugly.

7- Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you
love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the
whole list again yesterday".

8- Teacher : "Which is more important to
us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at
night when we need it but the sun
gives us light only in the day time when
we don't need it".

9- Teacher : "What do you call a person
who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

10- Waiter : "Would you like your coffee
black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

11- My father is so old that when he was
in school, history was called
current affairs.

12- Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street
hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

13- Tom : "How should I convey the news
to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result
declared, past year's
performance repeated".

14- Cool Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw
a man beating a donkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be
showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

15- Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly
do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom
is a good cook".

16- Patient : "What are the chances of
my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical
records show that nine out of
ten people die of the disease you have.
Yours is the tenth case I've
treated. The others all died".

17- Teacher : " Can anybody give an
example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father
got married on the same day
and at the same time."

18- Teacher : " George Washington not
only chopped down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't
punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had
the axe in is hand."

19- Ada tiga orang Nenek duduk bersembang
di dalam satu bilik.

Nenek 1 mengeluh,
"Aku kalau simpan barang kat satu
tempat, mesti lepas tu dah tak ingat mana
aku letak,... Haiii ".


Jawab Nenek 2,
" Itu okay lagi, Kau tengok ... aku nie
lagi laaa..teruk, kalau aku naik
tangga pas tu letih, aku berhenti duduk
kejap, lepas tu dah tak ingat aku
nak naik tangga ke turun tangga !!!".
Haru betooi.

Nenek 3 menyampuk
" Apalah korang nie, muda lagi daripada
aku tapi dah nyanyok, tengok macam
aku nie steady lagi", sambil gelak2
tangan menepuk meja berkali-kali.

Pas tu diam, Nenek 3 cakap " ha! sapa
pulak yang ketuk meja tu..?"

Nenek 1 & 2 menggeleng kepala...!!!